Looking For The Positives

[Brad]

Thinking about you today, Gin.  What a difficult milestone you have reached.  I am glad you are getting out; I need to become more social.  Problem is I still treasure my alone time.

[brat#2]

Gin, you are in my thoughts and heart today.  The year mark is difficult, but have done it.  You honor Al by talking about him and thinking about him, I know sometimes we feel we need to do more, but as long as they are in our hearts and thoughts that is honor enough.  Sending you hugs

Joyce

 

[Margm]

Gin, remember the stars that are given out for even getting out of bed?  Maybe you try to do too much to try to help yourself and you should just let getting out of bed be enough.  I need to practice what I preach also.  After my day yesterday, I just feel like many of those "keeping busy" days, and I will go to be with my Billy sooner than later.  Sometimes actually, I have learned, we do too much..  We need to just let it be.  Whatever it is.  My friend (who lost her husband) told me to keep busy.  Well, I guarantee you, one day of wear and tear on my nerves and psyche were about too much.  I have another day today, but it won't be as bad.  So sometimes we try to keep busy and "busy" just wears us out.  I get to where I look forward to "just being."  Whatever being is, too much busy winds me up too tight and it is harder on me than doing nothing at all.  Just be Gin.  If you want to cry, then cry.  If you want to sleep in, then sleep in.  If you want to watch a marathon of "Law and Order" on Netflix, just do it.  If you want to (and can) read a book then do it.  Sometimes my family's worries just beat the hell out of me.  Like last night, my daughter can be a bitter pill sometimes, but if her family needs her she drops everything.  Even at the worse times, and 99% of our day is the worse times, but sometimes you get a 1% day, and it seems like a gift.  My heart is with you my friend.  I hate October and I know October 17th will come soon.  But what will I do?  Oh, this is the 2nd Thanksgiving without him.  This is the 2nd Christmas.  Life has a way with numbers.  Especially when you miss someone so much.  Again, Gin, my heart and mind are with you.  That does not help, I know.  But you have my virtual hug.

[kayc]

My dear Gin, I'm sorry I missed this post yesterday (drat my internet restrictions!).  I hope your time with your friend helped.  Anniversary of death is always hard.  

[Gin]

Thanks Marty, Brad, Joyce, Marge and Kay for your good wishes.  It is a hard road for us all.

Gin

[KATPILOT]

Gin I am so sorry I missed this yesterday. I know the first is never easy and sadly it doesn't end here but we're here. We're all here.

[Gin]

Thanks, Steve.  

[HAP]

Great news today!
1. The #cureNETcancernow teams have raised over $129,000 so far for the Boston Marathon Jimmy Fund Walk. With money I know is still out there--and a little help from people who have not yet donated--we should end up with between $140-$150,000 for NET cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

2. That money all counts toward our DFCI Program for Neuroendocrine and Carcinoid Tumors "3-in-3: The Campaign to Cure NET Cancer" goal and, with some other money we know is coming, pushes the total we've raised since December 9, 2015 to $850-$900,000 dollars. Our million dollar goal for the first year is within reach.

3. The amount officially raised by the #cureNETcancernow group puts us in second place among all the groups formed for the Walk. If we were a single team, we would have the third most money raised among all teams.

4. Shuffle for Dana-Farber, the biggest team in our group--with 161 members--has raised over $75,000 so far. The group totals 207 walkers total, spread over four teams.

One dollar at a time, we are making a difference in the future for NET cancer patients by funding the daily discoveries that will lead to a cure.

Pax et lux,

Harry

[MartyT]

[Gin]

Joyce,

hope you are safe.  Thinking of you.

Gin

[HAP]

There are few things that give me more delight than holding a new book created by a former student in my hand. For the second time in 30 months I had that experience today. Scott Baker's Traveling Asia arrived today. It's a collection of photographs from his travels across that continent over the last 10 years. They're all nice, but several are extraordinary pieces of photography.

I think back to who he was when he walked into my classroom as a shy and terrified freshman almost 20 years ago and I smile. He financed his trips by teaching English to children in Korea. Now, he is training to teach English in Central America. I'm sure there is another book of photography coming from his new travels.

And it makes me smile.

Pax et lux,

Harry

[Margm]

32 minutes ago, HAP said:

holding a new book created by a former student in my hand.

My sister teaches at a primarily black college.  I know they are not supposed to be primarily any one race, but this is Grambling, and this is a famous college.  My sister is a poet and has had some published in her earlier years.  I know she would love to see some of her students published.  That has to be so exciting and fulfilling for a teacher.  

[R.Everit55]

Learned that my sixth grandchild is a boy and his name his Joseph Ryan.  Joseph was my Dad's name.  He just passed on.  The baby will be here come spring.  

Heres a recent pic of my fifth grandchild who is a miracle baby.  Number 4 and 3 went to Heaven.  

Gracie is probably thinking she could eat this little leaf she caught  

Butch 

[enna]

That is a wonderful name, Butch. Congratulations on yet another grandchild. Gracie is so sweet. I just love how precious baby faces are. 

[Margm]

  Beautiful.  Thanks for the smile.

[Brad]

I apologize for the lousy picture but it was shot a over considerable distance.  I had to zoom in during the crop to make it visable.  A highlight on my recent wanderings was spotting this California Condor perched on a ledge far above us.  Considering they were declared extinct in 1987 with the 27 surviving birds taken into captivity, it is remarkable to spot one in the wilds.  Now there are 435 condors with the introduction back into the wilds a measured success.  When at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon it is not unusual to see them soaring above but to catch them on their nest is a rarity.

[Margm]

Maybe it posed there just for you.  We had been discussing Ed Abbey.  Well, he said he wanted to be reincarnated as a buzzard, and I think a condor is one of the vultures.  Maybe he just decided to grace you with his presence.  I would think he would want to be fancy.

[Brad]

I'm not sure he would appreciate wearing a white boa.  And yes condors are buzzards, they are the king of all buzzards with nearly a 10' wing span.  As a matter of fact they are the king of all of our feathered friends.

[kayc]

Brad, I thought it was an astronaut on the moon!  Was that you?

 

[R.Everit55]

My ❤️️

[Margm]

 Our smile..  Thank you Butch.

[HAP]

Tomorrow, I head to Boston for two days of Visiting Committee meetings for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, starting with a reception for NET cancer donors tomorrow afternoon. I'll have both good and bad news for them. The bad news is the loss this summer of two influential patients who have helped shape NET cancer research and awareness. The good news is we've raised around $900,000 in charitable donations for NET cancer research at DFCI since early December of last year--and have a good shot at reaching $1 million by December 9.

Last week, my youngest brother came to visit. We had eight days of walking and catching up and doing some photography projects. And a craft fair netted $75 more for the NET cancer cause Saturday night and let me catch up with some people I haven't seen for a while.

Every day has a step forward in it--even days like yesterday where the depression came in waves all day: "You can't always get what you want; but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you can get what you need," as the Rolling Stones would sing it. I harvested sweet potatoes, onions and sweet and hot peppers and began to button up the garden for winter. I didn't get all I wanted, but there's enough there to keep me fed the next few months. There's a metaphor there that maybe fits my current mood. Sometimes it all gets to be too much--but we get what we need, even if it seems otherwise.

Peace,

Harry 

[kayc]

My positive today is getting to see my granddaughter and granddoggies!

[Brad]

My positive today:

One of Arizona's hidden treasures. Hard hike in and much harder out but worth the aches and pains. 

[HAP]

I moved the last of the stone out of the driveway today and began buttoning up the outside of the house for the winter. I didn't get everything done I wanted to out there this year. It turns out there are only so many hours in the day--and only so many good days to work outside in a year.

But I got the back half of Jane's memorial garden done and placed the stone there, got the patio and the garden path done, got the path from the front of the house to the back of the house and along the back of the house done, and started on the two raised beds in the back. The drought did a number on the vegetable garden, but I still have hot peppers to get me through the winter, as well as about 40 pounds of sweet potatoes.

Every day has its small progress--it's small blessings. Amid the pain of grief, it is easy to forget the small delights of the first ripe tomato or the last wheelbarrow full of small rock. 

Come spring, I'll shape the front portion of Jane's memorial, run the gravel path along the south side of the house, build the strawberry beds and replant the blackberries and raspberries that did not survive the dry summer, and maybe build a wall or two. 

And maybe, in five years or ten, I'll have everything done and be able to settle into maintaining what I've built--both in the yard and on the other things I'm doing. More likely, though, I'll find something more that needs doing. 

Peace,

Harry