journey growth Grief Healing and growth after Shock and AWE

[kayc]

I'm glad you do not let your sister manipulate you, George.  Give her the time you want to and don't give a second thought to the rest.  And congratulations on the health gains!

[iPraiseHim]

Work has kept me busy and the extreme heat has finally past. The hottest day was 103 with 50% humidity. The temps inside my home were 96.  My HVAC company that I have had a maintenance agreement for twelve year, finally gave me an estimate just to replace my compressor would be $2,500.... and in six months the refrigerant used will no longer be manufactured and they would not be able to service the unit. ??? Another words, I have to buy a complete HVAC again!...  It seems technology is advancing so much that it makes old machines obsolete and unable to repair forcing us (consumers) to buy more.  I have been working in the sales and service business most of my life and I would never recommend a product or service that would not benefit the client. ... Thankfully it is cooler (80's) and more tolerable.

... My sister is still try to manipulate me into her schemes but I just chose not to play in her sandbox.

... I attended a funeral service yesterday for a friend I've known for twenty years.  Death and grief really put life into perspective. My work schedule has been so busy that I have not been able to workout at PF since Monday.  I have full days scheduled through Saturday.  Thankfully, I am off on Sunday, to Praise, Worship, Grace,  and Rest.  - Shalom(Peace)

 

[kayc]

Funny, you were writing this about the time I thought of calling you, but I was afraid it was too late there with the time difference.  I also attended a funeral yesterday, someone I've known for 42 years, I feel my friends are dying by the droves.  

I've been worried about you with no A/C, especially since your humidity is so high.  I'm concerned you could have a medical issue because of it, I really hope you can find a way to get a new A/C.  I've never had A/C here, but our humidity doesn't get as high as yours, although it's not as dry as AZ either.  It's been in the 90s here but supposed to be in upper 80s today, not that it's that much of a drop.  Will be glad when it lowers.  I remind myself often at least I don't have to shovel the heat and it's not dangerous for me to drive in!  Don't care much for winter anymore.

My last refrigerator only lasted five years and this one probably won't be any better...they said the new refrigerant isn't what it used to be.  My previous one lasted 35 years.  My old freezer was about sixty years old when I retired it.  Who knows how long my current one will last.  They don't make things like they used to.  And this is a throw away society, unlike Mexico.

Good for you!  Stay out of your sister's sandbox!

[iPraiseHim]

7 hours ago, kayc said:

......I've been worried about you with no A/C, especially since your humidity is so high.  I'm concerned you could have a medical issue because of it, I really hope you can find a way to get a new A/C. ...

Thankfully, I have a window unit that cooled the room down to 81and dropped the humidity down 15%.  It is tolerable. I am careful to not overexert myself in this heat and drink plenty of water and take additional electrolytes. 

I need to get back to my usual sleep routine though.  It has been off since my father died.  I have over 12 hours of work scheduled  for tomorrow...  If i can not finish the work  tomorrow, I will need to complete the work on Sunday.  I used to be able to work 17 hours straight but as I mature (get older), I find I just can not work as long.

The lower high temps (80's) is more tolerable. I am looking into a few different cooling systems and options.  - Shalom

 

[Gwenivere]

Where are you located, George?  We in Seattle had a high 80 day.  My house retains heat like crazy.  I have a portable AC.  Just good enough for the living room if I seal it off from the rest of the house.  I really need a window unit.  

[kayc]

It got to 98 in Oakridge proper yesterday, a little lower where I live in the mountains.

Glad to hear you're taking care of yourself, George!

[KarenK]

You guys want heat? We've got extra here in my corner of the world. Aiming for 111 today, but probably only about 25% humidity. We're in our "monsoon" season which usually means blowing dust and humidity and sometimes a good downpour. It's scorching hot and muggy for us "dry heat" natives. I sure miss my cabin in the pines.

[iPraiseHim]

17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Where are you located, George?  We in Seattle had a high 80 day.  My house retains heat like crazy.  I have a portable AC.  Just good enough for the living room if I seal it off from the rest of the house.  I really need a window unit.  

I live in Virginia. I am about 20 miles west of the Atlantic ocean (Virginia Beach). The window unit is my life saver. I can cool down and sleep well at night.

[kayc]

22 hours ago, KarenK said:

You guys want heat? We've got extra here in my corner of the world. Aiming for 111 today, but probably only about 25% humidity. We're in our "monsoon" season which usually means blowing dust and humidity and sometimes a good downpour. It's scorching hot and muggy for us "dry heat" natives. I sure miss my cabin in the pines.

No thank you!  We're entering fire season here, always very scary.  There's one in Canyonville right now that I hope doesn't grow a whole lot more before they get it out.  So far the wind is blowing it south so we're out of reach of the smoke, but when it shifts, it'll be miserable.  During the smokey season I can't open my windows because I can't breathe but the heat is unbearable when you can't cool off at night.

George, thank God for your window unit!

 

[iPraiseHim]

Wow! It's already been another month...

This week has been one of my busiest work weeks in a long time. I have had several 10-12 hour days and worked every day this week including today! I try my best to always rest and not work on Sundays but it couldn't be avoided.

The good news is this morning has been the coolest inside home temperature in months... only 80.  It has been a real mild overcast day and the outside temps are only 74.

I removed the old washing machine (pulled a muscle), repaired the water valves, and installed the new (to me) Washing machine.  It's so super HE (High Efficiency) machine that it takes two hours to wash a simple load.... But it least it works... mostly except I have to put it through another spin cycle for some reason.   I have worked so much this week there was no time ( or energy)  to work out at the gym.  Ill resume my workouts tomorrow as my work schedule is more regular this week.

Sister news... . She is still pressing for me to help her get Dad's home cleaned out on the pretense that she just wants to see me... yeah right!.  We set a time last week, I cleared my morning schedule for her and she never bothered to call me back. When I asked her why she didn't call and tell me of her change of plans, she said she thought I was supposed to call her because I'm always so busy???  ... She did text me late that night that she went to visit her daughter....  Some things never change.

I have been reading a book about CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and working on grasping it's contents.  I notice patterns in my life of moods, obsessive thought patterns, and melancholy.  Sometimes, I am able to adjust and change the thoughts and focus yet sometimes the feeling overwhelm the thoughts.  It is an interesting concept.  I am continuing to working on just living in the now. letting the grief thoughts and happy memories flow. 

Hoping your journey through grief and healing is progressing for y'all  ( you all)- Shalom (Peace)

 

 

[kayc]

My sister told me I should write down memories of Arlie, I had already started, so I'm posting them a little at a time in the loss of pet section.  Having a very hard time without him here.

Your sister is...interesting?  Don't cancel work for her unless she has a true emergency.  It's rare you miss church.

I've been walking Joe, a neighbor's new-to-her chow, he's 11 1/2 like Arlie was, but very mellow, Arlie was my wild-eyed boy.  Joe doesn't like treats, but he's sure enjoying his walks.  I'm encouraging him to stop and sniff/pee, we can learn a lot from dogs, they take the time to smell the roses.

You probably worked enough you don't need the gym this week, resume when you're back to normal.  

[iPraiseHim]

My sister called yesterday and talked for three hours.  Her tone and countenance was different. About halfway through she blurted out, " I miss talking to you!"  I told she could call me anytime.  She is the one that is hard to reach.  

I agreed to meet her over at Dad's house today and it was a pleasant visit. She wanted to give me a tour of the home so I let her.  She is having difficulty letting go of objects and things because they were my parents belongings accumulated for over 60 years.  The suits of Dads are four sizes too small.  I did get 10 gallons of paint... they are sure heavy.  I need to paint my home... someday.

It is getting cooler now 55 at night so the home is finally cool down to the 70 the last few days.  It is 84 in the home now though at 10 pm.  The AC company finally called me this week for some maintenance and looking for payment.  I told them I was really unhappy with their service and they still owed me for two service visits.  They now agree with me that a straight air conditioning unit instead of a heat pump would have served me better. I told them that AC is not a high priority for me now going into the fall season.  Yes, it has been hot but I have saved money this year from not running AC in the whole house.  I don't have the $5,000 to get one now anyway.

Work is real busy again this week,  so I just keep pressing forward each day. - Take care and enjoy the journey as best you can. - Shalom (Peace)

[kayc]

I'm glad it went well with your sister.  I hope you get somewhere with the A/C company, esp. if they owe you.  I am going to the coast with the ladies from my church Thurs-Sun and it's supposed to be 54 daytime at my house!  I won't be able to keep the fire going while I am gone so will leave the Edenpure heater running for Kitty, have no idea what temp the house will be when I get home as the Edenpure is a glorified space heater w/o a thermostat but she's always cold and I doubt the house will be above low 60s with it running 24 hours a day.  It'll run about $3/day but it's insufficient for really cold weather.

I did okay w/o A/C this summer, got a little too hot a couple of times but overall wasn't too bad.  The heat turns me into a wimp.

It's hard for me to believe you're still getting 80s!  This is unseasonably cold for this time of year, too many cold fronts coming in!  My little sister is in Hawaii right now and it's been storming, cold, downpours, I guess that's what I'll see at the coast too.  I'll bring my down coat.

Wishing you well at work this week.

[iPraiseHim]

UPDATE:

I had a widow maker heart attack Sunday morning! Most people do not survive.  I had two blockages (99% and 90% ) in the same LAD artery. I was fortunately spared. No damage to the heart! It was caught and repaired quickly before any damage occurred. I went to the emergency care when I had chest pains, shortness of breath, and pain radiating in both arms. I took aspirin and got treated promptly. The doctors were surprised that  it was so occluded without severe pain or damage.  My God is merciful to me.

Almost three years of working on improving my health helped to mitigate damage.  The low thyroid function contributed to the excess plaque buildup though.  I was discharged this morning and able to walk back to my home.  Al of my scheduled work is cancelled this week to  rest and recover. I am Grateful and Thankful to be alive and able to celebrate another Thanksgiving.  My Insulin sensitivity has almost normalized by switching to a healthier way of eating, living and exercise.

My doctor said , " I have an extended ten year warranty!" and that if he has a heart attack he would want it to be like mine!  I am tired an will rest and relax as I adjust and learn to deal with the label of "Cardiac" patient. I have meds to take and more to learn about how to continue to optimize my health. 

I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving. Shalom (Peace)

[kayc]

I am so glad that this has a "happy outcome," George!  So thankful it was a heads up and didn't damage your heart.  We care about you!  Praise and thanksgiving!

[MartyT]

Blessings to you, dear George ~ and we are so thankful that you are still with us! Stay healthy! And Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours ❤️

[Gin]

George,. So glad you are OK.  Prayers for a quick and complete recovery!  A blessed Thanksgiving to you!  Gin

[Gwenivere]

George, am relieved you are basically OK.  What a scary experience and thank God you have been in good health otherwise.  I didn’t know thyroid could contribute.  I don’t know how long they kept you, but no surgery is a blessing.  Do take that rest thing seriously.  We all care so much about you.  I hope you have a good Thanksgiving.  My heart felt best to you.  💖

[KarenK]

George, so thankful this was caught and repaired in time. You are a very important part of our "family". May you be watched over and protected.

[widow'15]

George:  You surely have a lot to be Thankful for this Thanksgiving.  So happy you survived something that could have been a major life changing experience.  Thank you for your kind words wishing all a Happy Thanksgiving.  Rest and enjoy your Thanksgiving.  Dee 

[brat#2]

George, so glad that you and the doctors caught it in time.  Please do take it easy and get your strength back up and hope you have a good Thanksgiving also.  Hugs, Joyce

[iPraiseHim]

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving!

Yesterday was a very emotional day. The reality of what happened hit my soul and softened my heart towards my sister. My sister wanted and I had no intention of going to her husbands relatives today for Dinner.  I wrote out a letter and read it to her and ask that she just listen,  and not respond until I finished reading. I told her I really didn't want to go as it is stressful to me. She is connect to them by marriage. Their customs, speech, interests, etc.. is just not the same.  I told her I didn't want to ruin her Thanksgiving. She accepted my request and I will get to relax at home today.

The medicines they put me on have side effects that really affect me. The blood pressure medicine lowers my heart rate too low, and makes me dizzy, foggy brain, affects my speech and thinking.  It also contributes to congestive heart failure! The Statin drugs increases diabetes and obesity. The blood thinners can cause brain bleeds and organ bleeds as there is no blood clotting factor. 

When the plaque buildup was removed then the stents needed to be placed so the arteries don't collapse. However without, the anti-blood clotting medicine, they will immediately block because the stents are a foreign object to the body.

I am studying and searching for the best option to maximize my health now with the diagnosis added to my health risk.  I am thankful for every moment i am alive for I don't know how long that will be. I have read that there is Widowmaker Heart Attack Grief as well.  Life sure throws us some interesting turns.  No that I have a heart attack my dream of being able to fly has been completely grounded. Ill have to accept this as I have other losses in my life. 

I have noticed other improvements in my health. I have more energy, my hands and feet are not cold all the time and the sores on my feet are not painful!    I continue to pray for wisdom to navigate through this maze of man-made drugs and their side effects, quality of life, and healthy natural alternatives.  Have a blessed day! - Shalom

[kayc]

George, I hear what you are saying.  In spite of my best attempts my Triglycerides have always been high as was my dad's.  My dad was never overweight, always physically active yet had his first major heart attack at 45.  He was not a type A personality, he was very mellow.  I accept that we have bad genes.  But it's like getting dealt a hand, we play the best we can with the hopes of winning, even when the odds are against us.  I've been on statins over 20 years and it wasn't until about a year ago that I realized that is possibly why everyone in my family has Diabetes...we're all on statins.  But at least I've lived longer than my dad did.  I don't see any easy answers.  I guess we're thankful for the good things and keep working with the bad.

I'm glad your sister let you off the hook today so you can relax and enjoy your Thanksgiving, I hope you have something good to eat.  I'll be joining my friends for dinner as my son didn't message me until too late that he wanted me at his house, this morning was much too late to learn that.  The roads are very icy, getting a bit more snow last night and then it being 22 degrees.  It will be very cold until this front leaves.

[Margm]

George, sometimes we are our best doctors.  We don't have a prescription pad, but I have my whole history typed out in front of my purse in zipped compartment .  I am not supposed to have things done that they would do to me ordinarily.  I'm glad you are on top of things.  It was sweet of you to read the letter to your sister.  We have to make a comfortable existence for ourselves.  I am so happy you were aware of your health and symptoms.  

[Gwenivere]

I have about the same, Marg.  Physicians orders about what I do and do not want and a.list of my meds.  One in my house, purse and car. Hope they would be found as no heroics for me.