Shock and Awe after 1 year

[brat#2]

George, wedding anniversary is so hard when they are not here.  That day was such a happy, wonderful day and I know how hard it is to remember it when they are not here to remember it with you.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Joyce

 

[iPraiseHim]

On 12/10/2016 at 8:54 AM, kayc said:

Has she already gone into the hospital, George?  I will pray for her...for you too, it's hard watching your loved one go through something.

No. I did find out that the medicine they will give to her is supposed to help get the heart arrhythmia corrected before the cardio version is to be performed on Friday morning. She was relieved. 

my sister, Sharon was admitted today.  Apparently no beds were available.  She asked me to visit tonight but the hospital had not assigned her a room until 6pm.  When I called to check on her, the doctor was there so I waited another hour to finally get a text from her husband and they both asked me not come visit tonight.  I did speak to her.

Hospital rules are quirky....They asked her to bring her own medicines because they may not have them in their system. Yet, she can not set up her CPAP machine until some bio-tech can check it out and certify that it works properly.  My sister uses her machine every night!...  I'm praying she doesn't contract some illness from the hospital. - Shalom  

[iPraiseHim]

I have signed up with another health insurance company with a lower premium ($96 vs $304/ month) but it has a $6,500 deductible. I am believing I will be healthy for another year.  - Shalom 

[Margm]

George, I wrote something but think I deleted it.  I am so bad about that.  Hope things come out excellent for your sister.  I do know they have improved so much.  I hope you get some rest.  I'm afraid my 43 years of hospital working has jaded me against insurance, doctors, everything but nurses.  We had some of the best nurses in our times in the hospital, cannot complain about them.  The whole health system (to me) has turned into a terrible thing.  I don't know what they will do about it.  Little woman in the Dollar Store was happy because they finally got insurance, but it was $5000 deductible so she could not afford to get sick.  We had a wonderful hospital system in Louisiana until the two term governor killed it.  I think he did more damage than Hurricaine Katrina.  I wish the best for your sister.  

[Gwenivere]

There seems to be no way to actually get reasonably priced health insurance.  You either pay up front or hope that high deductible stays in your pocket.  Ah, to be 20 again and doctor visits were most uncommon.  

[enna]

I am praying for your sister, George. Please keep us updated. 

[Brad]

1 hour ago, Gwenivere said:

  Ah, to be 20 again and doctor visits were most uncommon.  

I became symptomatic with Crohn's Disease at nineteen. Have hit my out of pocket maximum every year since then. Wish I knew when doctor visits were anything but the norm. ? Just had three today. 

Some people buy new cars or take cruises; I pay doctor and insurance bills. 

[kayc]

George, praying for your sister, I hope you get to visit her tonight.  When you're on one of those machines, it's hard to sleep well without it so I hope they get it checked out soon!

Brad, I can't imagine.  I'm still fighting with the doctor's office about my impending eye surgery, boy can they screw things up!  

[iPraiseHim]

I visited my sister this afternoon and her blood pressure and blood sugar numbers are improving.  I found out more information about her condition and the medications she has been prescribed. 

This reminds me of earlier times when my wife, Rose Anne, started to deal with some of the side effects of Type 2 Diabetes. We trusted the doctors and Rose Anne's outcome was not good. 

What I know now stirs up some anxious memories and real truth discoveries about how most doctors treat the diabetic patient.  I am conflicted in knowing what lies ahead for my sister when so follows her trusted allopathic doctor.  I am not in charge and it is her choice.  However, her choices will affect us all.

I am praying for wisdom and discernment as to when to speak and to what extent do I interject what I have come to understand about Type II Diabetes and some other natural and restorative treatments available that could help her.  This is a road I did not want to travel down again.

On a side note, my brother-in-law asked me if I have started dating yet and if not why not???  I just looked at him puzzled and curious as to why it is his business???  

Life is full of surprises and twists and turns.  - Shalom    

[scba]

I remain puzzled at the concept of dating as THE solution to grief. 

 

[MartyT]

Sometimes I think it stems from projection ~ that is, people project onto us what they think they would do (or might want to do) if they were in our shoes, all for reasons of their own. In other words, it may be wishful thinking on their part. This says a whole lot more about the person asking the question ("Have you started dating yet?") than it does about you.

[kayc]

I remember someone writing Dear Abby about a similar situation...her response was to say, "And you need to know this why?"  I'm not sure that'd stop all people, they might blubber something about caring about you and you don't even want to get into that.  I think I would not even answer, just turn away.
 

About your sister's Diabetes...if she asks you for information or inquires, I'd give it to her.  You might mention (once) that you learned a whole lot about Diabetes when taking care of your wife, should she ever want to talk about it.  That would be the opener...if she chooses to know, she'll ask.
 

My heart goes out to you as you traverse this path with your sister.  All Diabetics are not the same, there's a great many of us managing our Diabetes through diet and exercise.  I hope she will be one of them.  I've also found that stress affects me even more than sugar/carbs!  It has to be holistic treatment, therefore, and not just our diet alone.  How we deal with stress affects so much of our health!

[mittam99]

20 hours ago, scba said:

I remain puzzled at the concept of dating as THE solution to grief. 

 

Ana, you and I clearly know there's no "solution' to the kind of grief we feel. It's just a question of coping with our loss the best we can and somehow making this new life a life that has some meaning.

The people who say we should be dating probably mean well, but, they have no idea what we are going through or the depth of our unending pain. They have never felt the kind of love we have felt. Or experienced the incredible pleasure of being with the one person who made us a better person. Who made us whole. They've never been with someone who could complete their sentences or thoughts. Or been with someone who loved them 100% for who they are, unconditionally.

Those people have never found their soul mate and they will never be able to understand us at all. I know it's easy to get upset when people say those "stupid" things. Just remember they've never experienced what we have and try to cut them some slack. They just don't know.

[Gwenivere]

I think there is another possibility, Mitch.  I know a few couples with thier true soulmate, but they cannot fathom that being ripped away.  Talking about dating is indeed more intense than the suggestions/comments we have all heard about being used to it, how time must make it easier, they wouldn't want us to be unhappy, etc.  Dating does imply looking for another love and I know many of us discussed this with our mates.  Some do marry again, but I think often it is the intense need for companionship we have as human beings.  I'm in my 60's so I cannot imagine facing this loss 30 years ago and how I would have viewed the rest of my life.  I didn't have the decades of contentment and security.  Some do marry again and some may find dating is really just a need for some companionship.  That there isn't anyone else they can give that unconditioned commitment to.  I don't think we can make statements about where another's heart is in this journey.  My mother married again and I know my father was her world.  My stepfather was a great man too.  

I just don't think we can say that because someone has found a new companion it in any negates the love we shared with that special someone.  For some the loneliness is as much as a torture as losing them and have no one that cares for us nor us them tho the intensity may be much different.

[Margm]

3 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

they wouldn't want us to be unhappy, etc.

Yep, I knew my Billy, and if it meant another man, he would want me to stay unhappy.  That's okay.  I'm good with that.  You younger people, you have a lot more years ahead of you and you will have decisions to make yourself.  

[kayc]

Marg, you crack me up, I do not consider you old in the least.  70s in the new 50s!  When we've been through as much as we have, it can affect how we FEEL about ourselves, and it can sure make us FEEL old!  But you're not.
Mitch, Gwen you have some points.  However we get through this is our way, and no two ways will be the same.  And it's very true, having someone new in your life does not remove your grief in the least and you continue to feel the same way about the person you lost whether you're alone or have someone else in your life.  In other words, it doesn't supplant your grief and loss.  I think the hope is merely to not be alone because it is hard to deal with on a daily basis, year in, year out.  I've gotten used to it as much as one can, but it still does not make it easy.

[Brad]

While Deedo was battling her cancer she was worried that I would be lonely.  She would occasionally play the Yenta looking for the one who would keep me company once she was gone.  I tried telling her then that she was my one and only but she really didn't want to see me alone.

[kayc]

You had a very caring spouse, Brad.  George and I had talked about what it might look like if one of us died...we figured the one left would talk to the one departed and get hauled off.  Not too far off the mark!

[scba]

I feel old and yet I am still young. I am going through what my friends will be go in maybe 40 years. I feel I lost innocence. I don't know how I will believe in anything again!

[mittam99]

Gwen, I firmly believe what I wrote. That first time a customer of mine (who had recently lost his wife) told me "you need a new woman", I was appalled, aghast really. No way that man could have been in a relationship with any depth of love. I can't fathom anyone who has lost a soul mate telling someone what they need (or should do) in terms of finding a new love. As if there's a replacement for that. That's why I can only conclude that those people simply and absolutely don't get what we lost. Because honestly, if someone lost their soul mate and then advised someone to date, they're nuts.

[iPraiseHim]

My sister's cardioversion was successful and all of her vitals are back to normal.  She was released from the hospital this afternoon and is at home;  happy and resting comfortably.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  - Shalom

[Margm]

I know it was scary George.  My friend (from high school) had it done a couple of years ago.  No problems.  So happy for you.  

[iPraiseHim]

6 minutes ago, Marg M said:

I know it was scary George.  My friend (from high school) had it done a couple of years ago.  No problems.  So happy for you.  

Yeah, I went and watched an online video of the procedure ( my B-I-L mentioned it).  It gave me cause for concern and I'm not having the procedure done to me.  My sister is thinking of watching the video.  I suggested against it since she may have to do this again.  - YIKES!   Shalom

[Margm]

That is what I typed for my last hospital, all their cardiology.  When I worked in  urology they had a camera from the OR in the doc's room and I can type the stuff, but I don't like watching it done.  What was funny to me was when they would give out what each resident's job for the week would be the ones with the clinic jobs were so disappointed.  They wanted to cut.  Like I said, I could type it but could not watch it.    

[Gwenivere]

Mitch, you'll notice I didn't at all advocate telling someone they should date and find another love.  I merely tried to point out that for some they may find that what they really need is companionship, not a replacement as that is impossible.  I am in agreement with you that suggesting to people to get out and look for love is not good advice.