Loneliness, Emptiness, Meaninglessness

[Gin]

Gwen,

keep talking about Steve.  I bring Al into my conversations every day.  I talk about things he had said or the way I knew he felt about things. . He drove a semi and today I told someone how he made deliveries to a factory that had mice/rats.  The owner told Al about the ferrets he kept to keep the rodent population down.  Maybe if you keep talking, they eventually will.

Gin

[Gin]

Karen,

how very hard it must be for you...Ron and your daughter.  Birthdays and anniversaries are so hard.  I wish you some semblance of peace, however small.  Know that there are a lot of folks here who care about you.  I, too wish we all lived in one big neighborhood.  

Gin

[Gwenivere]

Thanks, Gin.  Does anyone know what happened to the 'like' button?

[MartyT]

I've had complaints from various members that it felt too much like a popularity contest, Gwen, especially the way the "Likes" got tallied and showed up under the member's name. So I've decided to remove it. 

[enna]

Thank you, Marty. Now perhaps we can spend a little more time in dialogue instead of just LIKING what someone had to say. 

[Gwenivere]

I guess I'll kind of miss it because it saved basically replying to something I thought was well said just to say it was well said.  But, as in all things, I'll adapt.  That's what we are all trying to do, right?  something more important than likes.   ?

[scba]

I liked the "like button" because to me it meant "I understand" (you and your feelings). It was useful to me because I don't speak English and sometimes I find hard to write my feelings in another language, yet I wanted to let know the one who posted that I "understand". In any case I accept the decission to remove it.

 

[MartyT]

Thank you all for the feedback. I recognize that some of our members really liked the like button and used it as a quick and easy way to indicate their having read and acknowledged another's post ~ a shorthand of sorts. Still, its use was too often unclear (and sometimes misinterpreted) as it meant different things to different people ~ especially the way the site automatically kept count of how many "likes" a member had.  

[TerriL]

No matter what situation it might be, I always find it fascinating how the same thing can mean so many different things to different people. I can honestly say that I didn't even realize that the "Likes" were tallied and because of that, I never looked nor would I have cared to see how many I got over someone else. I concentrate on the people I'm sharing with and what they're saying and feeling. I'm sure I speak for some others when I say that losing my wonderful Paul has made me even less concerned than ever about my "popularity" (especially in a place for sharing grief). 

By the way, I "like" what everyone above said (to express my agreement)!  

[MartyT]

Thank you, Terri. I appreciate your comments!  ♥

[brat#2]

I agree with Terri, I didn't even know the "likes" were tallied and at this stage of my life I could care less.  However, with that said, I did like the "like" button, sometimes you really didn't want to post a statement but you wanted someone to know that you like and understood their post.  I guess I will have to become more verbal now.

Joyce

 

[MartyT]

I understand, Joyce. If I could have edited the "like" button to indicate what we wanted it to mean (a quick way to say "I read your post and I understand where you're coming from, even though at the moment I have no words or I don't have time to respond right now") I'd have done so. 

[kayc]

I wanted to "like" what Terri said!  I know it struck different people differently.  I didn't realize it kept track of the number of likes until someone pointed it out to me.  Too bad the tallying couldn't be removed without the like feature.  Like one person mentioned to me once, without the like button, we're forced to respond verbally, although I understand that's hard for Ana.  Honestly, Ana, I forget that English isn't your first language, you're very articulate!

[TerriL]

3 minutes ago, kayc said:

I wanted to "like" what Terri said!  I know it struck different people differently.  I didn't realize it kept track of the number of likes until someone pointed it out to me.  Too bad the tallying couldn't be removed without the like feature.  Like one person mentioned to me once, without the like button, we're forced to respond verbally, although I understand that's hard for Ana.  Honestly, Ana, I forget that English isn't your first language, you're very articulate!

Kay, the problem with that, for me, is that I don't always have the time right away to respond. I'd click the "Like" to let someone know I understood and that I'd heard them. Then, when I was able to sit and write, even if it was a day later, I'd respond. It's funny that someone would feel that only now, without those "Like" buttons, will we concentrate on dialogue. I've done nothing but focus on the dialogue I've been having with the wonderful people on this forum from the day I joined. (If someone WAS getting more "Likes" than another, it may have been simply because they posted more than that other person. A regular poster will automatically receive more likes than someone who posts once and then nothing else for  weeks or months.) I only want it pointed out that I myself, (and this is only my opinion), never felt that anyone I spoke with was attempting to "become popular". It's why I have stayed off Facebook, because that's a completely different atmosphere than this forum. Talk about "popularity contests"! 

On a positive note, thank you for the temporary distraction from my grief that this subject has provided!  

[TerriL]

Speaking of loneliness, it never feels more lonely than when something else in the house breaks and I have no clue what to do. We have a ceiling fan with a light on it in our bedroom and the light is switched on and off by a chain hanging down. I was filing some paid bills away in there and when I was leaving the room, I reached up, grabbed the chain to turn out the light and the chain broke off in my hand, leaving the light still on. It appears the chain broke off inside the doohickey on the side of the light so there's no way for me to re-attach the chain to it. Is there a way to turn the light off on this or should I just remove the light bulb from the socket? Does anyone have any idea?

[Froggie4635]

 

[kayc]

Terri,

I went through the same thing, I loosened the lightbulbs, but at least I could tighten them if I needed more light.  One day a neighbor came over and attempted to "fix" it, over my trying to get him not to (I know he's not that good at fixing things) but he didn't listen...as a result it no longer turns on at all!  Grrr!  At least the fan still works.  My advice:  Don't let my neighbor near it!

[TerriL]

Oh, Maryann! Mother of Pearl! As soon as I saw him removing the cover and those wires came popping down, I shook my head and said, "Yeah, that's not gonna happen." Not wth ME, at least! HAHA! Looks like I'm in the market for a handyman now.

Kay, I am definitely following your advice! Kay's neighbor, stay away from my fan!  For now, I'm doing what you did. I'll turn the light bulb a little to shut it off and when I need light, I'll turn the bulb on. I need  reality show: Livin' Large with Terri! (Just excuse all the stuff in my house that is now being held together with duct tape! lol) I was so spoiled living with my own handyman all those years. It still shocks me when a man doesn't now how to fix something! lol

[Gwenivere]

I saw the numbers by members names, but the only one I understood was the number of posts they made.  What's next?  Someone who posts too much should be restrained?  I'm really trying to wrap my mind around someone feeling upset that maybe they didn't get enough likes amd someone else did.  Like Terri said, I could go thru a thread and see much of what I would have said already was.  Maybe I would add more later, maybe not.  

I am annoyed the ability to let someone know easily I read thier words and acknowledged them is now gone.  I really nice shorthand as you said Marty.  It's obvious others felt that way too, a lot of people.  My logic says if you didn't like it, don't use it.  But to actually be keeping score?  Sounds to me that is paying more attention to that than the actual substance going on. 

Im sorry, but I've turned this over and over in my head and it sounds petty.  I'd like to be all hearts an flowers about it, but can't.  I'm still shaking my head thinking this could be misunterpreted as that seems an egotistical leap.  Yes, ego.  I said it and if you want to delete this, Marty, go ahead.  It's the most ridiculous thing I've seen happen here.  

Terri, I hope you can fix your ceiling fan light.  Ad problems not with the chain but the light fixture once and it was easy to replace.  I say easy because Steve did it.  It's hell having to take on these annoying projects now.  Aren't you glad they at least make duct tape in pretty colors now?  

[kayc]

I'm laughing about the duct tape because I'm guilty of going out and looking for white duct tape, yep, handy!

I don't see the need for there being a tally by each person, but I did like the ability to use the "like" button to let someone know you heard them or appreciate what they took the time to say.  

[MartyT]

I'm sorry, Gwen. It seems as if the price I pay for making some people happy is to make others angry. That is certainly not my intention. This site functioned well without a "like" button for more than 13 years, and this Spring (after an automatic update from our provider) it became available. Some of you liked it; others hated it. It's a judgment call, I realize. How about we try a different feature? This one (a little "up" arrow you can click) lets us indicate a positive response to a post, without tallying the member's numbers beneath his or her name. I'm willing to give it a try. Please let me know if this feels better to all of you ~ or not.

[Gwenivere]

I'm all for it Marty!  It's just so frustrating not to let someone know they were heard without having to post it every single time.

[Margm]

HeyThe only time I have had trouble with it was when someone did not like it that I had "liked" something "someone" had said.  Good Gosh, I am in my 70's and I probably post way too much,  I like to keep up with thingss and usually I would click like when I read something.  Popularity.......I am probably the least popular person around these days because I cannot keep up with everything that is going on and multitask.  Never was good at that. 

I want to post about the book I finished by Martin Short.  I think I will just add it to my "hell" posts. 

I hope I did that right.  I like the heart.

[iPraiseHim]

Thanks, Froggie for the repair video. My ceiling fan adjustment speed pull broke and I just assumed I would have to buy a new fan.  It is only 26 years old and we use it all the time.  I can be handy as long as I am stable on the ladder.  I would rather try the repair.  REMEMBER, to disconnect power to the fan by circuit breaker/fuse Box panel.  Don't rely on just the switch.  Be safe.

Something else to add to my to do list ( It used to be my Honey Dew (DO) List lol

Shalom - George

[iPraiseHim]

1 hour ago, MartyT said:

I'm sorry, Gwen. It seems as if the price I pay for making some people happy is to make others angry. That is certainly not my intention. This site functioned well without a "like" button for more than 13 years, and this Spring (after an automatic update from our provider) it became available. Some of you liked it; others hated it. It's a judgment call, I realize. How about we try a different feature? This one (a little "up" arrow you can click) lets us indicate a positive response to a post, without tallying the member's numbers beneath his or her name. I'm willing to give it a try. Please let me know if this feels better to all of you ~ or not.

MartyT,

 

Keep up the good work, even though we complain about it.  No one likes change especially those of us whose lives have changed so drastically.  It is a good exercise in learning to adapt.  Thank you, MartyT for all that you do. We all appreciate your work, love and care for us. Shalom