enna Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 Oh, Maryann, I pray that your eyes clear soon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froggie4635 Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 Dear Anne, Thanks It is just a major annoyance right now because I work with a computer and lots of fine print. When I use my readers, and then take them off if is just worse. I am hoping soon to have clear vision. I saw an ophthalmologist and my actual eyesight is 20/25....but until my blood sugar settles down, it is blurry city. I have made some major changes in the last 3 weeks, and have dropped 5 pounds because of it, but it makes it hard to do much that requires eyesight. I am not so bad that I am walking into walls; I can see the television and make my way around, but reading, writing, computing and anything with my Kindle are very difficult. I am taking a long weekend off work and try and rest. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted August 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 Anna, sounds like my life too. I knew a wonderful mama for nine years and somehow after my little sister was born, maybe it was postpartum madness that she never escaped from. Did you ever just look at a stranger and think "that person has thoughts just the same as I am thinking now, maybe not the same thoughts, but that person is alive like I am and living in his/her mind just like I am." I am not sure anyone will understand what I just said. I think sometimes my mama was right when she said there was a thin line between genius and insanity. I think she really knew what that meant. Myself, I am hanging on that line with my legs and arms, only I swing just below that line. And, I hope your eyes just get better and better. Kay, and all who are fighting illness, I want you so much to get well fast. Please. Hugs to all of you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 There are too many of us in hell again today. I try to think of the hell as 'visits' rather that where I 'live' each day. Anything to make the idea of it less substantial, less prominent. Like paying bills, we have to deal with them like them or not, and then knowing they will come again but hoping for a big lottery win before they arrive. Wishing us all some goodness today. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 I'm definitely wanting all who are sick or injured (I'm selfishly including myself here, too! lol) to heal quickly and completely. My knee is feeling a tad better right now. I've been icing it and resting it when I can----still have to take the garbage can down to the street though for tomorrow's trash pick up. It's been gray and miserable all day long with constant rain and the famous Florida sun no where to be seen. There was something that made me laugh today though. I was reading a weekly online horoscope this morning and it said something along the lines of: "Some days you just feel the ground beneath you in a new way." I immediately thought of my slip and fall yesterday and said to myself, "Wow, lady. You're GOOD." lol Marg, you aren't cold hearted at all. I think we just all mourn different people in our lives in different ways. It's ironic how the man who totally rocked my world in a good way, has rocked my world in the worst way imaginable with his death. I suppose that's the meaning of the passion and intensity of your relationship being mirrored in the intensity of your grief. I'm liking that RV Sue and I've never read her blog! She is a braver woman than I, even if I have occasionally thought about picking up and just moving away, probably more like running away from home. Ha! Although I swore I'd never own another one after a fiasco in the past, there is a super cute little condo for sale in Salem, Massachusetts. Unfortunately, they also have some not-so-super-cute winters there! I am Florida born and raised, so not sure that would be the best idea in the long run. Kay, I am so glad to hear that you are back on the road to healthy again. I'm keeping an eye on the knee---it isn't super painful and I can turn my leg inward and outward with only soreness, not where I yell out "ow" or anything like that. I didn't hear a "pop" when I hit the ground either. I didn't twist the knee at all. I just slipped, fell and landed on my knees (while at the same time, all the way down, I was panicking and trying to pick, before I actually hit the ground, which of my body parts would be strongest to land on! HAHAHA!!!) Karen, if you liked "palm tree Nazis", you should have been in South Florida back in the days of Governor Jeb Bush---or maybe not, since he is not one of my favorite people at all. His agriculture advisors claimed they had found the disease "citrus canker" in some groves in Miami and so decided to cut a wide swath through all of South Florida and cut down every citrus tree at peoples' residences. Paul and I had a gorgeous grapefruit tree, a lemon tree and a Key Lime tree that had only just begun to bear fruit. All our trees were healthy. They came and mowed them all down and I cried like a baby. I loved those trees and grapefruits are my favorite fruit. Everyone down here was calling them the Canker Nazis. Of course, canker spreads through the wind and there were mostly healthy trees in our county. Once the Canker Nazis were done, they had actually spread the disease as they went along cutting. Now, whenever I have tried in recent years to replant a citrus tree, it develops canker. I do wish however, that like Scottsdale, my town had actually paid me to remove the pool I just had taken out. It does seem incredibly stupid, not to mention hypocritical, to fine you for brown grass, while they're paying others to remove their pools. Nothing like true leadership, eh? :/ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 9 hours ago, KATPILOT said: That's funny Karen. I too get letters from Scottsdale. The last one was from the palm tree nazies. Because they no longer kill the weeds in the alley, I also got a letter reminding me it was my responsibility now. The city of Seattle rarely interferes with homeowner properties unless there are cars obviously leaking hazardous fluids. What we have is strips of land in front of of the house for a sidewalk and thin strip of grass by the street. We are expected to maintain that grass. Not a biggie when mowing, but anything beyond that I would tell them I don't even own that land. You deal with it. I can get warned when my overhanging trees obstruct pedestrians. I do take care of that as I bothers me as well. I know some people in gated communities that have the weirdest rules they have to follow, like they can't leave thier cars in thier own driveway, they have to in the garage! Talk about prying into your business. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 6 hours ago, Froggie4635 said: Dear Anne, Thanks It is just a major annoyance right now because I work with a computer and lots of fine print. When I use my readers, and then take them off if is just worse. I am hoping soon to have clear vision. I saw an ophthalmologist and my actual eyesight is 20/25....but until my blood sugar settles down, it is blurry city. I have made some major changes in the last 3 weeks, and have dropped 5 pounds because of it, but it makes it hard to do much that requires eyesight. I am not so bad that I am walking into walls; I can see the television and make my way around, but reading, writing, computing and anything with my Kindle are very difficult. I am taking a long weekend off work and try and rest. My wife had issues with that. go to settings and set your computer to high contrast and use the magnifier and different type set fonts. I turned down the brightest on her monitor so she could see better. - Shalom 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 Gwen, Now that I think about it, perhaps this is just "Nazi" Scottsdale. Here, you cannot work on your vehicle in your driveway or park a vehicle with out of date license plates there. Any vehicle parked on the street must be facing the direction of the traffic flow or you will be cited. I'm sure there are a million other stupid nit picky laws here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 (I wonder if this is why I've heard some people refer to it as Snotsdale ) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 Good one, Marty! I actually live in very south Scottsdale(the slums, if you will). Scottsdale's elites are in the north part. Things have changed dramatically since 1968 when I bought this place. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 On August 29, 2016 at 8:04 PM, Dreamwinds said: Today I was called to the funeral home to pick up my husband's ashes. Just writing that seems crazy. I cried driving there and driving home, but did feel a little peace after the beer on the deck with him. It was just simply an overwhelming, emotionally draining day. I drove to pick up my father's ashes when they were ready. I thought I would be relieved to have them with me, but it was devastating and I could barely drive due to crying. I talked to a friend afterwards she said, "Why didn't you call me? I would have gone with you!" From hearing other people's experiences about it after that, it seems like people find receiving the ashes to be a wrenching experience because of its finality. I guess I still had trouble accepting it, because for months I kept thinking that maybe it wasn't really him and maybe it was someone else's ashes and he was alive but couldn't get to a phone for some reason. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 23 hours ago, kayc said: I'm showing signs of improvement to the coughing/hacking stage, just wish I could breathe again! Thanks for asking! Glad to hear you're doing better, Kay! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 On August 29, 2016 at 8:10 PM, scba said: I have just been told by a widower "my wife doesn't exist anymore, your boyfried doesn't either, life goes on and you have the right to be happy, past is in the past". I have been crying a river. Oh God why did he left, why did he left me here alone and unprotected? It's really infuriating - the things people say, and because they are usually passed off as "condolences" the recipient of the remarks tries to give a polite response. I think they are usually trying to make themselves feel better, even if it is at your expense. After my dad died, his former next-door neighbor Mimi told me over and over that "he's in a better place now". Once she said this to me four times in one short conversation, and I finally asked her if she had his address at his new place. Then I kind of felt bad and told her that I really don't know where he is exactly but I do hear him talking to me and told her some of the things he had said. She basically told me that was in my imagination. Who is she to tell me my dad is in a better place than on earth with me, and that she has exclusive knowledge about spirituality and the afterlife - so I should just accept her statements at face value! My dad and I were really close and I took care of him for ten years as he declined from Parkinson's. Mimi had rather minimal contact with him. To me it seems insufferably arrogant of her to presume that it's ok for her to impose her beliefs on me as I am grieving. Realistically, I think she doesn't have much insight into herself, what she is doing, or the impact it may have on someone who is really suffering. The same is probably true of the widower you write about. These platitudes with a little "positive" spin, like giving you permission to be happy - so you don't smack him - are hurtful and irritating. I looked up "platitude" and this is what I found in Wikipedia: "A platitude is a trite, meaningless, or prosaic statement, generally directed at quelling social, emotional, or cognitive unease. Platitudes are geared towards presenting a shallow, unifying wisdom over a difficult topic. However, they are too overused and general to be anything more than undirected statements with ultimately little meaningful contribution towards a solution." Much more eloquent than my wording, which is more like, "they feel uncomfortable and so they say some stupid thing they heard somewhere so they can get you to shut up so they can feel better". Grrrr...it really makes me angry. However, I am trying really hard to keep my mouth shut so I don't totally alienate everyone I know. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 To all commenting/inquiring about my health...I woke up with either a new stage or something else new, NOT feeling good today! And to top it off, no internet connection. It took a while to get that back. Then I heard back from HP and after doing everything they said (swing a chicken around your head three times while chanting), my printer still skips lines. I give up. Next time Jim comes up I'll see if he can reinstall it as wireless, maybe that will make a difference...maybe not. I am so sorry to hear about your eye problems, Maryann, boy don't I know how that feels! I struggle with my vision, compound problems. They tell me it's not from my Diabetes but other conditions, but I see what I have to look forward to, ugh! Congratulations on the weight loss (that's what I need!), I hope your eyes start responding better. I know how scary it is. I can't drive at night and no longer having George here to drive me, I miss a lot. It's just how it is! Another reason I retired early...the whole rat race of commuting was getting difficult, as if my eyes aren't bad enough, two separate incidents of people hitting my car within the last four months of working/commuting. It's nice to be done with it. We all know platitudes all too well and have experience trying to fend them off! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 Kay, I'm so sorry you are not feeling any better, hope you can fight it off soon. Sending you hugs! Joyce 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 Well I appreciated hearing from Mitch and Anne...it's been a long lonely boring week! I don't do "sick" well. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 Kay, hope your breathing gets better. I had that problem for a few months. Mine was anemia. The loneliness can really get you down. I hate it. Sometimes I go all day without seeing anyone. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted August 31, 2016 Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 Those are my worst days too, Gin. I think I don't want to see anyone, but the days that happened I always feel more off kilter and cut off from the world late at night. I've tried going out to stores to be among the living, but then there is the chance seeing them going on with life is iffy it helps or not. I don't really have any local people to hang out with anymore. It would just be so simple if Steve were home. Problem solved. It's tough trying to solve the loneliness dilemna. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted August 31, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2016 2 hours ago, kayc said: I can't drive at night None of my friends drive at night so they have started having lunches instead of nightly dinners/suppers. Kay, you are very smart and I know you won't let this hang on too long. I think the death of our mate somehow even years later attacks our immune systems. "Wanting to live, enjoying living" would be a boost to our immune system. Sounds like none of us are having too good of a time lately. Wish sometimes we had Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. Moved this from other topic. Didn't seem to belong there. Someone in the family has rented a large house. (None of my business, I was not consulted). She said it was more than they could afford. Okay, I am silent. (Where is Billy when I need him). Today I was told/asked that when my lease is up in November I will be moving in? Question/fact? I said "hell, no". Surprise and asked again. Jokingly, "hell, no." Call a little while ago. No, I am not leaving this apartment. I'm sorry. Enough of that, but I was expecting it. You with fur babies, I love your love for your fur babies. Myself, I have never been responsible for just myself. I do not plan on getting an animal. (I am not an animal hater). I don't plan on getting another husband either. I would love to have the one I had back. I know already I am in for a battle, but I am not leaving where I am except to join Billy. Whatever happened to our golden years? This is not the end of it. It was once said that this person had nothing wrong with them except they had never been told "no" to. I am going to catch some bad stuff for this, but I have to stick to it. I am sure the granddaughter living with me is part of it. I lived so many years with my mama's mental problems. And, that is why the granddaughter is here. I do not hold her captive. I married to get away from my mama, I was lucky. I am thinking I might have to go to a therapist. I've been there before. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 I'm thinking these are nickel years, cuz they sure as hell aren't golden! Oh well, you learn to appreciate what is, even if it's not ideal or perfect or what you had in mind...my appreciation lately has been that I don't have to go to work and can "enjoy" being sick in peace, if there is such a thing! I'm getting better little by little, and now it's only early a.m. I can't breathe, just need time to get over this. Marg, good for you! Stick to your guns and do what is best for YOU! To cave in to solve their self-made problems/situation would be to enable, not help. I'm proud of you for listening to your gut tell you what YOU need and doing it! If we all didn't live so far away, maybe we could get a (therapist) group rate! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 2 hours ago, kayc said: I'm thinking these are nickel years, cuz they sure as hell aren't golden! I agree! With all my joint replacements and spinal implants, I'm thinking of these as the titanium years 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 Kay, I am sorry to hear that your sickness has "shape shifted" on you, but I am praying and hoping that you are experiencing the darkest before the dawn. From here on out, you'll be mending and getting better. In 2007, I was diagnosed with allergic rhinitis. At night, right at bedtime, my nose will stop up on me, I'm sure I snore because of having to sleep with mouth open, and then, in the morning, everything begins draining and I'm sneezing, blowing my nose, etc. Sorry if that's TMI! lol Someone told me about Breathe Right strips, wearing them to bed. I have not yet tried them, but I'm thinking they won't hurt, so why not? Maybe they would help you in the mornings? I know that I'm allergic to aspirin and amoxicillin, but they don't know what's causing my allergic rhinitis. The doctor said I'd have to be tested by an allergist. I didn't do it, since I'm worried they'll tell me I'm allergic to cats. My cats aren't going anywhere! Marg, way to go for being true to yourself and what you need at this point in your life! You have gone through so much already and you don't need the pressure from anyone else telling you what to do. So what if you catch hell? Get a couple of little horns to tie onto your head and let them know you're more than ready for it! This is what really aggravates me (okay, angers me---more than just aggravation) about controlling, manipulative people. You lose your spouse and suddenly, you're being spoken to about things like selling your home and moving into a condo or getting rid of half the things in your yard, things which bring you comfort and lift your spirits. That's what my BIL was trying to do to me. Apparently, he would be eyeing my yard or my house and deciding in his head what should be done with everything. What I wanted didn't matter. I went from living at home with my parents to living with and eventually marrying Paul. There has never been a time in my life when I had to take care of myself on my own or make my own decisions about things. Paul taking care of me so well gave me wings and now, I just want to try them out without someone always attempting to clip them. The only other person whose opinion matters to me is Paul's and I want to show him I'm trying my best. Do that for Billy, too, and don't let people wear you down. After all, you ARE SW!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted September 1, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 1 hour ago, TerriL said: I went from living at home with my parents to living with and eventually marrying Paul. Me, me, me (Billy). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted September 1, 2016 Report Share Posted September 1, 2016 At least two of our friends here live in Florida, Terri and Gin. Please let us know that you are alright girls, as this scary hurricane is on its way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Thanks Karen for he thought, but I am safe in Illinois. I think there are a few who do live in Fla.. Wish them well and safety. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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