kayc Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 My cold symptoms are improving daily, I just have to stick it out! Terri, I sleep in a recliner, I have since George died...the bed just was a reminder that there's that empty spot, besides I sleep better somewhat upright because of my allergies and asthma, in spite of my two air infiltration systems. Marty is in FL but I checked with her yesterday and she's okay. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Terri, be safe thru the hurricane. Gin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Terri, Joyce and George........I wish you all safety thru the storm! Let us know how you all are doing! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 I'm in Sarasota, FL, and I think Terri is further south than that. So far we've had lots of rain here, off and on for the last two days, but nothing like a major storm. From what I've read today, I think the big storm will hit landfall further north, near the panhandle of Florida, then head northeast up through NJ, NY and New England. Not a very nice Labor Day weekend ahead for many. I hope everyone stays safe and dry. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Hi everyone! Yes, Marty is right, I live in South Florida, in between Miami and Fort Lauderdale. It was actually sunny here yesterday, but with some gusty winds. It looks like it could rain today but we are no longer threatened at all by Hermine (thank goodness!!!). Joyce lives in Central Florida, so I do pray that she is okay. And i was not aware that George also lived in Florida---my prayers and thoughts go out to him, as well. If we don't hear from them, they might be okay, just without power (you can't charge your devices if there's no power). Marty, Paul and I had been considering Sarasota as a possible location to move to. I've been reading Sarasota magazine for years and I love how the city seems to embrace the arts. Not sure I could relocate there now, though. I'd have to find a safe area that I could also afford. Maybe when all this stuff with the city is finished and the retirees hopefully WIN, I can consider Sarasota once again. It's such a lovely area! Kay, this is so strange, but I also now sleep in a recliner in my living room. I don't like being in the bed/bedroom all alone either. But, I also discovered that my sinuses and my neck, as well, are not quite as bad or painful when I sleep in the recliner. They aren't 100%, but they're a lot better than when I lie down in a bed. My nose still can get stopped up though. It usually happens when I brush my teeth before bed, so if anyone can make sense of that, please fill me in! lol Thank you for the kind and thoughtful well wishes. I am not in the hurricane's striking zone, but I do wish any who are to remain safe, with their homes secure. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 I think George said he's in Virginia, 20 miles inland. Fred (used to be here) is in NY, so I think I'll check the weather report on his zip code. Joyce, let us know how you're faring! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Hi everyone. I'm doing ok. It got pretty scary a couple of times yesterday with a tornado warning that was only about 2 streets over from mine and then a severe thunderstorm warning later that was pretty bad. We didn't get the actual hurricane, but did get all the outer bands that were on the east and south side of it. I just sat in my bathroom until the 2 individual storms passed by and luckily no problems. It is still very squally here today, with windy conditions and on and off rain, but should be done by tonight. Thank you to everyone for being concerned. Hugs Joyce 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Hugs to you, too, Joyce ~ and it's good to know that you are safe. ♥ 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 So happy to hear you chime in, Joyce! Thank goodness you are okay. I know all too well those bands of unrelenting rain and high winds. I spent Hurricane Andrew, back in 1992, watching through our sliding glass doors as the power lines arced and twisted in the high, gusting winds, shooting off turquoise colored sparks whenever they'd touch each other and the trees. I knew it was dangerous, but at the same time, it was quite beautiful and mesmerizing in its own way. Mother Nature is one tough lady. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Terri - yesterday was difficult. Lost power a couple of times yesterday, so I gave up trying to keep the computer on. The first time being alone through pretty bad weather. I'm pretty weary of the storms, we had a lot of damage from all the hurricanes we had in 2004, so I absolutely hate wind!! Even though Dale wasn't here physically, he was here keeping me safe. I'm glad you and Marty are okay too. Hoping that anyone else along the east coast that might be in the path of this storm stays safe! Joyce 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerriL Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Joyce, my heart goes out to you. Before we really knew exactly where the system was going (it was still down near Cuba and hadn't even become a tropical storm or hurricane at that point), I was so fearful, wondering who would help put up my shutters if it hit. Then, a friend of mine in Georgia texted me to ask if I had plenty of extra water, batteries, etc. and it dawned on me that I had never had to worry about that before---Paul always made sure there were boxes of bottled water and extra batteries and food. I just took it for granted I'd always have some in case of a storm and now it was all on ME---alone---to think of these things and I'd completely forgotten. I'm so glad that Dale watched over you and the house and helped to keep you safe. I'm trying to stay away from people I know who like to keep reminding me that "there's another one out there!!!". I'm sure if and when it becomes a concern, I will know about it, because the weather people will start spinning in circles on the news. Joyce, were you able to catch any of the coverage on Weather Channel before it made landfall? I was laughing at some of these reporters jumping around on the beach to show what can happen and one guy even took out a dry erase board, clutching a handful of markers, and was drawing some sort of pictures to explain something---I'm not really sure what. I don't think it turned out quite as he had intended---it was this big jumble of a mess! I just sat there laughing, saying to myself, "What is that even supposed to BE? This guy is nuts!" Ah, the Sunshine State, where life is just a big bag o' crazy! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted September 2, 2016 Report Share Posted September 2, 2016 Terri, I know it is difficult now to have to think of all that stuff by ourselves. My heart is with you too, we both know what these storms can do and trying to navigate through them without our protectors is hard. I'm sure even though Paul is not there physically, we will be keeping you safe just like Dale did me. I didn't see that on the weather channel, sounds like a real idiot. We have a local channel in Orlando that's an exclusive channel for our cable company and they are pretty accurate in their predictions and they are who I usually watch, but I do watch the weather channel to, but didn't see that! It's like that commercial for Sonic restaurants, don't know if you have seen it, but they are talking about different worlds other than earth and the one guy names Florida, the other ones says that is a state not a world and the 1st guy says "well it seems like a different world"!! So true. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Sorry Joyce, I did not realize it was you in Florida and not Gin. Since she is in Illinois, I will worry for her when tornado season hits, just as I always did for my daughter who was in Kentucky. We sure don't have any weather like either of those in Arizona, just heat, heat, heat. So glad you and Terri are safe. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polly Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 8 hours ago, brat#2 said: Terri - yesterday was difficult. Lost power a couple of times yesterday, so I gave up trying to keep the computer on. The first time being alone through pretty bad weather. I'm pretty weary of the storms, we had a lot of damage from all the hurricanes we had in 2004, so I absolutely hate wind!! Even though Dale wasn't here physically, he was here keeping me safe. I'm glad you and Marty are okay too. Hoping that anyone else along the east coast that might be in the path of this storm stays safe! Joyce I lived in Orlando in 2004. My girls both get freaked out now if it gets really windy. It brings back those memories of the hurricanes that year. Now I live in Pa. Hopefully we will only get a little bit of wind and a little bit of rain. Didn't watch the 11pm news. hopefully it's still staying south of us. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 I'm glad they don't have weather like that here in Oregon, I'd be a sitting duck! We don't have shutters, cellars, etc. here. I'm glad you're all safe, it looks scary on t.v.! Going through something like this alone is a world of difference from going through it with our husband. There's something about having someone to go through everything with... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted September 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 I think I do better when I worry about the rest of you all. My son and daughter are driving about six hours to go to a ballgame. I will put that out of my mind. I have written on here, I have answered other posts and I don't know if I left them up. Sometimes the words I put down seem to flow through my fingers. Then, I read them and they seem totally pointless, so I delete them. I usually can at least write word salads. It seems like I am reliving this month from last year. Facebook put a "memory" picture and it was the last one Billy took with his new camera. Or did he have his new camera then? Shopping, comparing, writing down all the pro's and con's was Billy's way of shopping, and shopping online gave him time to look. I know the camera and equipment were all his birthday present and he shopped for days and days. Good price, too high, made of shabby material? He kept busy on the computer just shopping. I think I am reliving that time and know it was the beginning of the end. I am selfish. Sometimes I do climb inside myself. I fussed at my granddaughter yesterday. I never do that. And yes, I feel terribly guilty. I did take my sister out to eat. Even then though it is like I have to be somewhere else and want to leave. Everywhere I go I have to leave. This is a new side of me I don't like. So change it!!!!!! I don't know if I can. It is almost like I am running from something, but I am really not moving at all. I have shown fear often, but now I seem frozen in some kind of fear. I am looking out the window at life and I don't want to live it, anywhere. I cannot decide on a counselor. I need to. I don't think I am asking for help, that might mean I am open to suggestions and I seem steadfast in my stubbornness. I have to break this mood. It does not seem like my depression which I have fought forever, this is different, it is sort of a mindless fear. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 31 minutes ago, Marg M said: Ihink I am reliving that time and know it was the beginning of the end. I am selfish. Sometimes I do climb inside myself. I fussed at my granddaughter yesterday. I never do that. And yes, I feel terribly guilty. I did take my sister out to eat. Even then though it is like I have to be somewhere else and want to leave. Everywhere I go I have to leave. This is a new side of me I don't like. So change it!!!!!! I don't know if I can. It is almost like I am running from something, but I am really not moving at all. I have shown fear often, but now I seem frozen in some kind of fear. I am looking out the window at life and I don't want to live it, anywhere. I cannot decide on a counselor. I need to. I don't think I am asking for help, that might mean I am open to suggestions and I seem steadfast in my stubbornness. I have to break this mood. It does not seem like my depression which I have fought forever, this is different, it is sort of a mindless fear. I so understand you here Marg. I have just fussed at my mum. She was telling me that the brother of my cousin's wife is getting better from his treatment from cancer and how orgeanic food helps to improve health in general. I told her I didn't want to hear this men's story of recovery, I felt a monster, this guy is in his 20s and of course it is good news, but I didn't care at all if he was well or not, alive or not. To her comment about organic food I was about to say "what for, to live more to years than those I am supposed to, in this state of mind and soul?" Of course I said nothing, I don't want to hurt mum more. I have never behaved in this way before!!!!!!! I feel so angry lately, it is cooking slowly inside of me, surely because in two day it will be two years of the beginning of the end. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Marg, It sounds like you're feeling unsettled, antsy, restless. It seems like a cousin to depression, not exactly the same thing, but kind of along those lines. I hope you find the counselor you need and recognize it when you meet them. If you catch yourself snapping at someone, just apologize and say you're not feeling yourself. Ana, I don't want to die exactly, although if my pets were gone and my house was paid off, I wouldn't mind. But I know what you mean. I guess I'm afraid of repeating my mom's demise, which seems very likely, it's all heading that way. My mom lost my dad when she was 59 (I lost George when I was 52) and she lived to 92...growing old alone in her house while it was falling apart (that part has already started with me). I try to keep up what I can, I prioritize and let go of the rest until I can...but my mom gave all her money to radio ministers and didn't spend a dime on home maintenance and even turned away our help. I'm not turning away help, it just isn't forthcoming. But it's the growing old alone thing that really has me. I spent time on my mom, I took her grandkids to go see her, even though she was 60 miles away, on a regular basis. I listened to her on the phone on a regular basis. I don't have this from my kids. I guess I get scared that there will come a day when I can't take care of myself and no one will be around to notice or care. That's frightening. I do have my church, but gosh they're all aging too, most of them way older than I am! It's some kind of life. I'm spending Labor Day working in the church office, alone. Why? Because it needs done. I was sick last week and didn't go in and work. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Thank you Karen. Polly, well you know exactly what I mean by hating wind!! I appreciate everyone's concern and thank you for thinking of me. Joyce 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Another long stinking weekend. Decided to go to the health club and store. Club is about 5 miles away. Got a few miles and was stopped by a STOPPED train. Waited for quite awhile. Started inching along. Figured it would eventually move. After another 10 minutes. It stopped again. I turned around and came home. Felt very stupid. I should have been able to figure away around, but I did not. So now I still have nothing to do. Maybe I will try again. Maybe not. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Gin, I understand completely. I had that happen to me a couple of Sundays ago when I was going to the laundry mat. I did figure a way around it, but it took me while and then once I got to the laundry, I felt all flustered. It is amazing how some of the simple things can throw us for a loop now. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone on that. Hugs Joyce 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 I just need to vent. This weekend I am doing something I knew was inevitable but it's more than five and a half years coming. I have no guest room in my house. It's been Kathy's sewing room left pretty much undisturbed all this time. My grandchildren are getting bigger and having them spend the night on collapsible beds just isn't working any longer. I ordered bunk beds last weekend and they are being delivered this afternoon. I've been emptying the room since yesterday including cabinets stuffed with fat quarters and yarns. I am donating a lot but that's not the issue. I never thought after this much time it would get to me like this. I've made a lot of small changes over the years and triggers ceased to bother me but this is different. This is major. That room which always looked as if she was still around working in it is leaving. It's like triggers in reverse. Could I have grown so accustomed to that room as a trigger that I began to cherish it? Years ago I stopped seeing it as a trigger for sorrow. I began to enjoy the beauty of the artists studio. I know it will become a room of great joy for my triplet granddaughters and I'm trying to keep that in mind. I even know she would be happy to have them in our home. That's just not the point. I just have never felt this before. It's a whole new chapter of grief and it took years to write this one. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Stephen, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I can completely understand that no matter how much time has passed that changing her room would be difficult. I'm sure though, she would be happy that you are making into a room that your grandchildren can enjoy and spend time with you. My heart is with you, hugs. Joyce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Stephen, sorry you are feeling so bad. The triplets will love it and maybe you will get peace from that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted September 3, 2016 Report Share Posted September 3, 2016 Stephen, I understand your grief. It is another acknowledgement that you precious wife is not here. Hopefully you can take pictures of the room to help with the memories. Of course, the grandkids will love it. It is just another part of our grief journey that each of us faces. I have some cleaning and sorting work to do that I keep putting off. I am just not ready to tackle it physically, mentally, or emotionally yet. Praying you will find peace and comfort in this change. - Shalom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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