It hurts so bad

[TerriL]

3 hours ago, KarenK said:

JHCP,

I think each of us lives with the "if only I had done things differently". The reality is that we did the best we could with the skills that we were given. Unless you have medical training, you must rely on the professionals. Your story of the ambulance resonates with me. My parents lived a block from the hospital. My father suffered an abdominal aneurysm. It took the ambulance 30 minutes to get there. He bled to death.

I am 5' tall. Ron outweighed me by 140 lbs. On 2 occasions, he fell while attempting to get into the truck. The first time, I could not get him up. He was on top of me. I managed to get up and call paramedics. The stupid policeman asked me if he was drunk. I said "No, only dying". The second time, he fell between the passenger seat and dashboard. I flagged down a passing stranger for help. Thank heavens for kind strangers. Both times, I felt I had let him down, but it was beyond my capabilities to help him.

I know this does not ease your guilt, but believe me you did all you could.

That's so true. A little over one month before died, Paul had treatment done at a retina specialist (he had only one good eye due to a condition he had developed in the other one) to keep the vision in his good eye. The week he passed, he was due to return to the specialist for his follow up visit (his appointment was actually scheduled for the day he passed away). The Saturday before, he woke me up in the morning and I thought it was like an other morning. Then, he said the words that will haunt me forever. "I woke up without vision in my good eye." I sat straight up and looked at him, thinking I must have heard him wrong. I kept trying all morning for him to let me drive him to the ER. But, because he had the treatment done on that eye, he assumed we would sit in the ER forever, only to be told to call his eye specialist on Monday. He did not have any of the "typical" signs of stroke. No drooping face, no slurring words, no "worst headache of your life", no weakness in his extremities. None of that. Otherwise, I would have called fire/rescue. I still kept telling him repeatedly, "What if it isn't your eye? What if it's just a coincidence and there's something else going on?" But he was stubborn and now I wish I had forced him to go. We finally saw his retina guy on Monday. Tests were run and the retina doctor said it wasn't his eye. This medical doctor told us he was leaning toward a diagnosis of "temporal arteritis" and what does he do? He schedules an appointment for the following day with the Bascom Palmer Eye institute, ll the way down in Miami. I was livid, but kept my mouth shut for Paul's sake. Paul figured that a doctor must know what he's doing and I'm the kind of person who questions ALL authority. So, an entire extra day where he's gone without proper diagnosis or treatment after waiting an entire weekend to get help. Fortunately, a male friend of ours offered to drive us to Miami. Good thing, too. We spent all day with them doing more eye tests. They sent my husband to another building for an MRI. My husband was not the same man coming out of that test as he was going in. He came out and two men were having to carry him, one on each arm. Paul was sweating profusely across his forehead, he was shaky and appeared disoriented. Remember he could not see still. He was blind, too. I knew something was seriously wrong, but I didn't know exactly what. We were supposed to return to the eye place, but I was furious when I saw Paul's condition. I said we were going home and I was going to get him to a hospital. That long ride home was HELL. Paul could not stop being sick in the back seat and it was rush hour traffic. I finally got him home and he was still sick. I tried to help him walk up the sidewalk to our front door, but he couldn't make the step up into our home, said he was tired and collapsed right there at the doorstep. He was half inside the house and his legs were still out on the patio. As I was rushing to the phone, it began ringing. It was the eye doctor from Miami, telling me that he just saw my husband's MRI and he had had multiple strokes with one of them appearing to be 1-2 days old. I explained what was going on, shouted that I had to dial 911 and hung up. I immediately called 911, told the dispatcher what the doctor had just told me and the guys came out super fast. My neighbor saw what was happening and offered to drive me to the ER. I had to lock the house up and grab my stuff and then we took off. Paul was still responsive when we got there. He knew who I was and knew his birthdate and even knew our neighbor from the sound of her voice. But, suddenly, his eyes closed, he folded his arms in on each other and he began convulsing, gasping for air with his mouth opening and closing, just as you all had stated with your spouses. I was panicking, asking what was happening with him and they ushered us out and pulled the partition across. They had to intubate him so he could breathe. They told me they were rushing him into surgery because there were clots in a several arteries coming off the brain stem. Well, the surgery was not successful obviously and Paul never did regain consciousness after the seizure he had suffered. I can only take comfort in the fact that he did know I was there with him at the end and that hopefully, his pain or suffering was not prolonged. He had made me aware of the fact that he never wanted to be in a vegetative state or in a nursing home. He also would not have wanted to be blind. He was such a proud, independent man used to being the caretaker. I was informed a few days later that there was no discernible brain activity and he was only breathing because of the ventilator. So, they removed the life support and he was gone. But, there were some moments that I will never forget and that kept me up night after night. One in particular was the social worker who came in to my husband's room and wanted to speak with me, "even though I'm sure this is not the time". She proceeded to tell me how there were 27 people down in the ER and they were all waiting for beds. And then, there were patients no longer in need of care who were in those beds. I stood there and stared at her. At that point, the doctor had told me I didn't need to rush any decisions until I thought them through. I told her that and she handed me her business card, which I threw away. I have wished over and over again that I had forced him to go to the ER that Saturday morning, on the 10th of October, when he woke up without vision. These are the things that go through ALL of our minds. Shoulda, woulda, coulda... Praying that we could go back one more time just to have a do-over, but armed with the knowledge we have now. My friends told me the same thing. He could have had the stroke IN the hospital and there would have been no guarantees they would have been able to save him. But, I can't help but feel that if I HAD gotten him to the ER on Saturday, he at least would have had a better chance. The odds would have been more in his favor. Now, I live the rest of my life without him. I apologize for the length of this post. 

[MartyT]

Terri, my dear, no apologies needed. Your story leaves me speechless. I am so very sorry for your loss, and for all that you went through with your Paul before he died. My heart just hurts for you . . .  ♥

[TerriL]

Thank you so much, Marty. It was such a surreal experience. Sometimes, I still think I'm going to wake up from this, but it never happens. I still hold anger toward the retina doctor, who I feel handled Paul's serious symptom in far too casual a fashion. He did not KNOW it was temporal arteritis and a symptom that serious should have immediate attention in an ER. But, nothing will bring Paul back, so I try to keep breathing and let it go. If anyone can learn from this, then I will feel my husband did not die in vain. Make someone go to the ER for YOU if they won't do it for themselves. Better to have them rub it in your face for the rest of your life that it turned out to be nothing instead of having to make cremation arrangements for them a week later. (Oh, and vision loss in an eye with no other symptoms? Go to the ER. Paul had a stroke in his sleep and never knew it, because the symptoms were not what they tell you on TV.)

[scba]

1 hour ago, mittam99 said:

I think a lot of us here have lost our spouses in a sudden and traumatic way. It seems to me we're not just dealing with the loss of our soul mate and all that entails...

Losing our loved one in that way creates a gounded with a sort oftraumatic stress. And we have those "why" questions and the "if-only's" that play on our minds and wreak havoc with our emotion

 

I agree with you Mitch, we have a trauma. But as Marianne pointed out, the hope relies on the fact that with time and grief work the first memory of them won't be thos final hours and days. 

[kayc]

I had the opposite problem...my husband did not cook.  If he wanted to help me he made soup (from a can) and sandwiches .   But I had made his favorite casserole before leaving that fateful Friday morning from which he never returned...he entered the hospital on Friday and died on Sunday.  that casserole sat there untouched for three days and my daughter and I finally started on it, but it was hard, hard knowing I'd never get to cook for him again, never get to see his immense pleasure in food.  Most of the enjoyment in cooking, to me, was seeing his pleasure at getting it!  Now I cook only because I need to eat healthy so that's what you do.

Mitch, today it is snowing, not sticking yet, but who knows!

[hollowheart]

1 hour ago, TerriL said:

 I have wished over and over again that I had forced him to go to the ER that Saturday morning, on the 10th of October, when he woke up without vision. These are the things that go through ALL of our minds. Shoulda, woulda, coulda... Praying that we could go back one more time just to have a do-over, but armed with the knowledge we have now.

Reading your post I could just about feel your panic and see everything you described. What an incredibly overwhelming ordeal. I"m so sorry. What you said here basically sums up my experience with my sister. I believe she had a stroke too. She did have a droopy mouth, dry mouth and slurred speech, but it went away, then came back, then kinda went away again.  Yet, here I am (along with my mom) waiting until she is unconscious to still wait even LONGER to call an ambulance in the morning.

I know we all "coulda, woulda, shoulda" but in my case I feel like such a fool and I know I cost her her life. Had we gone right at the beginning I know she would be here now.  It got to the point that her life was in my hands and I did nothing. I bet her stroke was about a day and a half old too, but yet, there I sit still doing nothing. We walked to the store when that time could have spent heading to the hospital. I will never forgive myself.

[TerriL]

25 minutes ago, kayc said:

 Now I cook only because I need to eat healthy so that's what you do.

 

Exactly, Kay. I've forgotten to eat at times, but I should know better. I know I need to eat, but cooking for just me seems like too much work. The cats eat better than I do half the time now. Ha! I would never do to them what I do to myself. And you're right. One of the best things about cooking is watching the other person enjoy it. 

[mittam99]

Terri, I think you hit the nail on the head about cooking. It isn't always easy to cook a really nice meal, but, the rewards of seeing someone's eyes light up and that huge smile (and those "accolades" you hear) are well worth the drudgery of preparing the food. Of course the worst part, (at least for me) was having to clean up the kitchen mess.

[TerriL]

5 minutes ago, hollowheart said:

Reading your post I could just about feel your panic and see everything you described. What an incredibly overwhelming ordeal. I"m so sorry. What you said here basically sums up my experience with my sister. I believe she had a stroke too. She did have a droopy mouth, dry mouth and slurred speech, but it went away, then came back, then kinda went away again.  Yet, here I am (along with my mom) waiting until she is unconscious to still wait even LONGER to call an ambulance in the morning.

I know we all "coulda, woulda, shoulda" but in my case I feel like such a fool and I know I cost her her life. Had we gone right at the beginning I know she would be here now.  It got to the point that her life was in my hands and I did nothing. I bet her stroke was about a day and a half old too, but yet, there I sit still doing nothing. We walked to the store when that time could have spent heading to the hospital. I will never forgive myself.

Hollowheart, I understand exactly where you're coming from and nothing I say will help your hurt right now, but, I can tell you that none of us is perfect. Just like the person going through it, we also don't want to suspect that the worst could be happening. When my mom had her first heart attack, she was throwing up, had diarrhea, was gray in color and broken out own a cold sweat and she was in total denial about what was going on. Of course, when symptoms are that acute, you do call rescue. Vague symptoms---especially those that come and go---are so much harder to call and we do our best, but we are only human. Would we both do it differently if we could go back? Absolutely. You did not deliberately want to cause your sister harm and it isn't your fault. Deep down, I know it isn't really my fault either, what happened to my husband. Even a medical doctor did not consider that Paul could have had a stroke. We're all much more perceptive and brilliant in hindsight. 

[TerriL]

7 minutes ago, mittam99 said:

Terri, I think you hit the nail on the head about cooking. It isn't always easy to cook a really nice meal, but, the rewards of seeing someone's eyes light up and that huge smile (and those "accolades" you hear) are well worth the drudgery of preparing the food. Of course the worst part, (at least for me) was having to clean up the kitchen mess.

Oh yeah! The mess! I used to clean up the messes when Paul would cook. Come to think of it, I'd do that when I'd cook, too. And the prep part wears me out, too. If I could get someone to peel, chop, slice, dice, etc. all the components for me, the cooking wouldn't be near as bad. 

[Margm]

I won't repeat our sundown to sunup experience ER visit.  I know he was terminal, but we had just found that out. Yes, they did hasten his death. Yes, they did lie to us.  Yes, they did do harm, they hurt him unmercifully.  And I did the unthinkable, he was not DNR, the kids were not there and I let them do terrible things to him so my daughter could see him before his restarted heart failed again.  What kind of person does that??? I knew he was gone.  Okay, it's done.  I cannot go back in time.  You don't know how much stuff that man forgave me for.  He forgives me.  If his dragonfly wings could break the water's surface, he would tell me so.  

[KarenK]

Terri,

My heart goes out to you reading of the traumatic events that you and Paul endured. Paul sounds like Ron. You couldn't make that man do anything.

From the day Ron was diagnosed with cancer, it was downhill all the way. So many "medical professionals" made deadly mistakes causing kidney failure, an unplanned surgery, trips to the ER, and delays in chemo treatments. He was not able to start treatment until 5 months after diagnosis. He may not have survived the cancer, but was never given a fighting chance. I was angry at these people for a very long time, but one day realized my anger was not hurting them, only me. I let it go. Remember "Karma is a bitch".

[JHCP]

Why are men so stubborn when it comes to their health? Jack hated having lupus! He would miss doses of meds often at first because he would only bring a few perscriptions over to my house when we were dating. And he often forgot to take the meds or thought he had not taken them when he actually already had so he would double up. One day I buy him a pill sorter and he got so mad. He snarled and complained while filling it the first time or two. But after a few weeks admitted it was great and thanked me. He just hated that it made him feel sick. Hated looking at it on his desk. It was always difficult getting him to go to a doctor for what he thought of a serious problems. Eye doc was no biggie, dentist no problem, urologist easy, even his regular check ups were not a big deal. However getting him to a cardiologist or someone to do MRI or biopsy was a struggle. For years he would not let me go with him even. Eventually it just became a couples activity he wanted me to partake in. 

Being an ex professional athlete the lupus foundation of America approached him multiple times to get him to be a spokesperson for men living with lupus as it is mostly found in women. He wouldn't even consider it. Then everyone would know he was ill. He was a pain in the rear at times! But he was my pain in the rear. I miss him so badly!

[TerriL]

Marg, you were in such a difficult position at that time. When we're in the heat of the moment and so many things are coming at us at once, the fact that we have to also make life and death decisions for our loved ones in these moments is nothing short of insanity. We are having to keep our wits about us when our worlds are spinning out of control. The only way I could make any decisions at all when Paul fell unconscious is to reach into my memory and pull out everything he had ever said to me when we would talk about such things over the years. Honestly, that is the only thing that got me through it and let me know I was making the decisions HE wanted. 

But, don't beat yourself up about it, Marg. In the middle of all that, you are in shock, you are confused, you are just trying to keep going one step at a time. 

And KarenK, I totally believe in Karma! My anger in the beginning was so overwhelming, it was actually scaring ME. I was so worried that I would be next in line to have a medical event if I didn't find a way to deal with it. That's when I began trying to meditate. I'm not great at it yet, but I'm not giving it up. I do notice a calmer attitude when I'm doing it consistently. You are so right---our anger eats us up and leaves the other people going about their every day lives. Do any of those medical personnel think about my Paul now? Heck, no. They were on to the next one as soon as they got the bed free. Probably one of those "27" in the ER the social worker was "kind" enough to inform me about. 

[TerriL]

10 hours ago, JHCP said:

Why are men so stubborn when it comes to their health? Jack hated having lupus! He would miss doses of meds often at first because he would only bring a few perscriptions over to my house when we were dating. And he often forgot to take the meds or thought he had not taken them when he actually already had so he would double up. One day I buy him a pill sorter and he got so mad. He snarled and complained while filling it the first time or two. But after a few weeks admitted it was great and thanked me. He just hated that it made him feel sick. Hated looking at it on his desk. It was always difficult getting him to go to a doctor for what he thought of a serious problems. Eye doc was no biggie, dentist no problem, urologist easy, even his regular check ups were not a big deal. However getting him to a cardiologist or someone to do MRI or biopsy was a struggle. For years he would not let me go with him even. Eventually it just became a couples activity he wanted me to partake in. 

Being an ex professional athlete the lupus foundation of America approached him multiple times to get him to be a spokesperson for men living with lupus as it is mostly found in women. He wouldn't even consider it. Then everyone would know he was ill. He was a pain in the rear at times! But he was my pain in the rear. I miss him so badly!

JHCP,

In truth, I am so much like a guy in that respect. I do not care for doctors or dentists (having had so many negative experiences over the years with them) and it's like trying to pull teeth from a chicken to get me to go to one. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with Crohn's and I didn't go to the doctor until I was at 86.5 pounds. Every joint in my body was hurting me. I finally went, at Paul's urging. He stayed with me every step of the way, even when they took 15 vials of blood from me. I don't know how I would have gotten through that without him. He held my hand the whole time and talked me through it. I also understand how your Jack felt about his illness. I've had an anxiety disorder since I was a teenager and someone once suggested I start a support group for that when I could not find one locally. I considered it, but I was afraid of becoming a "poster child" for my disorder. I want to be thought of as more than my anxiety or even my Crohn's and maybe that's also how Jack felt. 

But, yes, Paul was a stubborn one. I wish I had forced him to go to the ER. I was the one who kept saying that it might not be his eye, that it could just be a coincidence that the eye that was treated had the vision loss. That eye treatment kind of threw us a curve ball and kept me from pressing the issue as hard as I should have. 

[mittam99]

Count me in as the typical man that shies away from doctor visits. Experiencing all the sub-par medical "professionals"  that Tammy had to deal with solidifies my attitude. It's kind of scary knowing how many incompetent and uncaring people are out there with peoples lives in their hands... literally.  That's not to say there aren't some wonderful doctors and nurses out there, just that in my experience they are few and far between. And too many of them concentrate on the dollars they'll make versus the quality of care given.

[Margm]

The teaching hospital I worked for, the head of my department (I was on phone with patient) and reviewing if he should talk to patient.  I told doc I did not know what the patient had.  He said "I know what he does not have" and made the motion with his hand that meant money and had me transfer call to resident in clinic.  .That very tall doc shrunk to the size he could not crawl under a snakes belly.  I soon transferred to another dept.  This doc had the respect of everyone, except the people who worked for him.  Can you imagine he trained eight surgeons each year?    I can only say one hospital I had retired from actually hastened Billy's death but 19 months before had saved my life.  Mistakes are made, some lives are saved.  I am not grateful yet.  

[Guest]

Having had Crohn's disease for 45 years I cannot say that I am one who shies away, as a matter of fact my doctor appointment constitute the majority of my social life.  This month is good, I only have a dozen or so appointments however one is an annual colonoscopy/endoscopy so that counts for several.  The doctors Deedo and I have had have been wonderful, except the surgeon that decided to go for her morning run while I lay in ICU with a ruptured bowel.  But the rest have been fantastic.

[kayc]

Terri, I'm not sure but what those ER personnel might find themselves in a similar situations someday.

[Guest]

Terri-

I know what you mean by wanting to be identified by more than your illness.  I've been fighting Crohn's Disease since 1970 and at times it has been so ugly.  I do refuse to be defined by this disease and it frustrates me that people know me more for my Crohn's than for the thousands of lives I touched as a teacher.

[Gwenivere]

I think that us what happens, Brad, when we get sucked into the medical swirl of specialists and ongoing tests.  What frustrates me is I can't talk to one doctor about everything but my primary care doc and often he can put it all together.  But when I need immediate help, I have to rely on the specialists who only pay attention to thier area, not the whole picture.  So to one I am arthritis, to another I am lungs, another nerve issues.  I have made them all aware of the crushing grief factor, but that is rarely address unless I bring it up.  Unlike you, I have phobias about medical stuff and get so tired if them blowing that off as normal nervousness as it is way beyond that.  Anyway, yeah....we become more our bodies that the people we are often.

[KarenK]

Gwen,

It is always heartbreaking to discover that your are no longer a person, only a body or a name on a report when it comes to the medical profession. In reality, I guess it's that way when dealing with any large corporation.

We chose the new MD Anderson located here in Arizona for Ron's treatment. The chief reason for doing so was so that the various specialists he needed would be co-located. Unfortunately they were not as this was a fairly new facility and all of the specialists were not in place. Because Ron's treatment was so delayed, we stayed with them. It was definitely a "stockyard" experience and you were directed from chute to chute for each procedure. I guess this is the method all the big hospitals use to keep things running smoothly, but it is sad.

[TerriL]

I can feel all the frustration in our posts about the medical community! The medical establishment could truly use an overhaul, but I fear that so much money is being made this way that the powers that be want to maintain the status quo. Why switch up the very thing that's keeping you rolling in dough? Brad, I hear ya. My belief is that teaching is one of the most noble (albeit, thankless at times) professions and I know how much I owe to a few extra special teachers I had who saw my potential and encouraged me. You are more than your disease, Brad. I feel so bad for all of us with what we've encountered and endured at hospitals and with these doctors. I feel for our sweet spouses who went through just as much if not more. This is just one of those down days. I've been thinking of Paul all day and missing him so much. Guess what, Paulie? I actually remembered to clean the filter on the air conditioner and figured out how to do it by myself! You'd be proud of me. I'm trying to not let you down. 

[mittam99]

Some of the reasons for my utter disdain of the medical community... and don't get me started on insurance companies...

My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and she had surgery to remove the cancerous part of her colon. After the surgery and my moms  hospital stay, our family met with the surgeon to discuss her outlook. We were all thrilled when we heard, "we got it all, the margins are clean". The surgeon then said my mom wouldn't need radiation or chemotherapy. "Just come back in six months for a checkup". We are all relieved and happy. Fast forward six months... unfortunately, her cancer had spread to her liver. Then they started chemo and radiation. Ok, so why didn't the doc err on the side of caution initially?

Tammy had to have lung surgery due to a severe infection and pleurisy. This was back in 2007 and was the first time Tammy's health took a turn for the worse since we had met in 1999. I'll never forget the surgeon speaking to us and telling us the surgery had to be done ASAP because it was very bad. This was the first we had heard about this. So, I had a lot of questions and we both were scared. When I tried to say "Doctor, so how will this....", the doctor rudely interrupted me and said "LET ME FINISH". I was taken aback and said something like "Sorry, I am just worried". She gave me a look that could kill. She had the bedside manner of a snake.

After that 6.5 hours surgery and a month long hospital stay, Tammy was transferred to a nursing home for rehab. We arrived at the nursing home around 9 PM. One item that needed to be hooked up was a special wound care vac. The lung surgery was very intensive and a lot of skin had to be grafted to about a third of Tammy's back. The problem? No one in this facility really new how to properly connect and work this machine. It was one comedy of errors after another. Finally at around 2AM they left the room and had it "sort of" hooked up. Such, was the beginning of the medical ordeals Tammy and I went through.

Toward the end of that hospital stay, Tammy was getting better and I returned to part time work. After work and on the way to the nursing home, I got a call from Tammy and she was clearly upset. She had rang for assistance as she had an "accident" in bed. When I got to her room they still hadn't come to clean everything up. Tammy was crying. I stormed down to the directors office and told them how incredibly neglectful this was.

And this was only the beginning of a massive amount of incompetence and poor medical treatment we dealt with during Tammy's many hospital stays and interactions.

How about the time a nurse was getting ready to give Tammy a pain pill she was deathly allergic to? If I wasn't there to stop her, I shudder to think what might have happened. And the allergy was listed on her chart! Or Tammy's internist and rheumatologist who dropped her as a patient for missing too many appointments. She missed the appointments because she was either too tired or weak or ill to go. She wasn't trying to avoid them. What hippocratic oath did they take?

How about the time a nurse/tech left a stool sample laying on a counter in Tammy's room all day before someone picked it up for testing? That needed to be under refrigeration or the test would be useless/false.

I'm getting angry just thinking about all this. And this is only the beginning. Doctors in the emergency room once gave Tammy a cocktail of narcotic pain medication and an anti-anxiety med that dropped her blood pressure off the map and put her into cardiac arrest. I had just left the room to take Katie to the bathroom  and when we came back the doors were closed and curtains drawn. To my horror and shock, I saw them using paddles on Tammy's chest. They brought Tammy back from the brink and then performed exploratory abdominal surgery. At the time, I realize they were trying to figure out what was going on, but they found nothing. They themselves as it turned out caused her cardiac arrest. That surgery permanently removed part of Tammy's belly button. I initially brought her in due to severe pain. The reality was, this pain was a symptom of her lupus flaring up. The ER doctors knew virtually nothing about lupus and this is why I believe they did things in such a botched way.

There are many more incidents like this. I'm getting too worked up to post about them now. My Tammy deserved only the best and I believe that the modern medical community mostly failed her. Tammy did have numerous serious medical conditions. As one doctor told us she was the most "complicated" patient he had ever seen.

Like I've said, I don't like doctors for the most part and I'm sure you can understand why.

On the other side of the coin one doctor saved Tammy's life in a dramatic way. I had taken Tammy to the ER and she was in bad shape. She had sepsis and her vitals weren't good. It was on Saturday and if you know anything about hospitals and weekends you'll know they were understaffed. It just so happened her urologist was making rounds there. He saw Tammy's chart and told them to cancel all scheduled elective surgeries and get a team ready for Tammy immediately. I was holding her hand in pre-op when I saw her pressure was as low as 47/27. They had to try to stabilize her pressure before they could do surgery. As she went in to surgery I had no idea what was ahead. The doctor saved her life and for that I will always be grateful to him.

Tammy and I endured so many medical ordeals. Yes, she went through the actual medical procedures but, there was much emotional trauma we both dealt with. Tammy was the most amazing woman I've ever known and her and I were the best and most perfect team in the world (IMO).

Mitch

[iPraiseHim]

Mitch,

Years ago, I watched the emergency room techs give no treatment to my mother in Law because she had a (DNR) do not Resuscitate order.  Her heart was racing 140 BPM and heart fibrillating.  I yelled to the techs to treat her NOW.  THE DNR was for after her heart stopped.  She was in acute distress. She lived for another two years but they have their rules and procedures.  I just learned to be proactive and vigilant when it comes to medical care. I was my MIL advocate and my wife.

I too have lots of real life stories about dealing with doctors and the medical profession.  I fought the establishment for a month to get oxygen for my wife to the point of a mental breakdown.  After a month of relentlessly, trying to get her oxygen, we finally get an appointment with the Pulmonologist.  They tested her and watched her levels drop down to 50%.  Despite that , we left the doctors office and waited another five days before the insurance company finally approved her for oxygen and an oxygen home concentrator. I asked the doctor if they were testing to see if she would die to prove she needed the oxygen.  I picked up the equipment myself after work because it couldn't be delivered for another five days. 

It is very frustrating.

I watched a documentary called "The Truth about Cancer"  The documentary proved my suspicions about the medical industry, Doctors and the Drug companies.  Our medical model in the US changed as a result of Big Money (Carnegie and Rockefeller) It is both shocking and enlightening.  Always follow the money.

I believe medical doctors are great for diagnosis but the treatment should be left to natural treatments, foods, exercise, health, etc... I always research natural ways to heal and restore.  Most traditional (allopathic) doctors are trained to give drugs or surgery. 

DITTO.  My wife and I were like two peas in a pod.  Now the pod is broken.... Shalom